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Better than Googling Uranus
I went online to look up tickets for Kathy Griffin, and well, I laughed my ass off. ;-)
Today Google Doodle announces their new Mars Map. Google Labs, if you are indexing this page, might I suggest bolding going where no man has gone, Uranus? Who better to go probing around that big gaseous planet? Thanks to your Google Image, I know that Uranus looks like a big giant French avocado. Look how tasty Uranus looks, good enough to take a bite of. And those rings around Uranus!!
I got Oscar fever! No, I'm not talking about the award, it's all about my rabbit! You never know where he might pop up. Check out my latest update!
What is up with Jack Nicholson being in the front row every year? Does he have a perm-a-seat? I think he's really dead & this is a "Weekend at Bernie's" type thing. Won't the audience be suprised when they show ol' Jack in the montage o' dead people and then cut to Jack in his shades & big toothy grin.
I better watch what I say, after all, I did kill Richard Pryor.
Birds in Shoes
I had to take my rabbit, Oscar Mayer Weiner Cadbury Bunny, to the vet for his chronic foot problem again. I'll spare you the details of the foot infection.
What was amusing is his feet were dyed green from his chlorophyll chips. He's all ready for St. Patty's Day. He looks white & normal on top, then I flip him over for the exam and he's bright green. Luckily, I looked "normal" because the vet has a pair of white birds she treats that get dyed pink & purple for Easter and red & green for Christmas. So much more exciting than the new line of clothes for pets from Target!
The vet said she might need a make a shoe for Oscar. I thought it would be cool to go with his new hat. ;-0 One of the colored birds has to wear a shoe made of those floating pool noodles. I'm not sure if that would work for his huge furry foot, so I'll have to keep an eye our for items to turn into bunny footwear.
Rabbits with Hats
I'm going to outfit my poop producers with some mighty fine looking hats!
Poop is not a laughing matter
I need to make a correction to my previous entry. I read the blog wrong and the healthy food did not cause the intestinal cramping. Damn, I was hoping chocolate was good for you. I'm sorry if that upset anyone.
Actually, sugar free chocolate bars can cause HORRIBLE intestinal cramping. I bet everyone on Atkins has made the mistake of thinking that 1 gram of carbs can be OK to eat, so why not 2 or more? Don't do it. I know they may seem tasty, but it gives a whole new meaning to the phrase "busting a gut". Just say no.
Speaking of poop, did you hear George W. is excited about "a new fuel source"? At first I thought he meant corn. I sent away for a free corn tshirt a few weeks ago. My bright yellow shirt should be arriving any day. I will wear it with pride and think of Iowa.
But then I read this great story about my favorite city, San Francisco. BUSH MEANS POOP! Oh yes, the headlines were flying today:
"Turning Poop Into Power"
"Green Group Scoops Pooch Poo for Power"
"Fido, Go Produce Some Energy"
Shit, (pun intended) my rabbit's poop is a much better energy source. It's tiny so maybe I could sell it in the mobile market! I could use this myself since my rabbit chewed through my cell phone charger.
Bunny poop is the topic of this awesome children's book, "Perry Poops". I highly recommend it. You know kids love poop. Well, some adults doo, too.
I'd also like to give a shout out to my friend who is getting the Katie Couric treatment tomorrow with a colonoscopy. Thank you so much for AIMing me with details of the prep. Now that's what I call "push technology". I hope everything comes out OK. ;-) But please, spare me the details!!
I moved back here why?
Just about 4 years ago I moved back to Baltimore. Most days I'm happy about it, like when I go to my job I like instead of being unemployed. But then Google shows me the weather forcast.
When I got up this morning, I could barely see as I forgot to put on my glasses. I saw some movement outside. Yup, snow. Driving in today was sorta fun. The flakes looked pretty. I was driving a bit too fast and thought about slowing down, and thought, "hmm, I wonder if it could be icy?" I checked my temperature gauge: 34 degrees. DOH. It's freaking SNOWING out, and I wonder if it could be icy. It was my moment of zen.
Note to self: Drink coffee BEFORE driving.