Reference SB - 97 - 0005 RE: Possible Misuse of Angry Badger Treatment __________________________________________________________

As described in Article IX of the General Code of Medical Practice and Conduct, any physician or acting provider of medical services, whether real or imagined, must and, therefore, should be kept appraised of treatments or procedures to have known uncertainties, misuses, or improper practices when and if those uncertainties, misuses, or improper practices are manifested. It is therefore pursuant to said clause, and in the presence of the Divine Providence, that the following service bulletin is forwarded.

Purpose/Overview: On or about March of 1997 reports began to surface regarding the possible misuse and/or unapproved modification of the medical practice known as the angry badger treatment.

Angry Badger Treatment Defined: Developed in the remote regions of 1840s Wisconsin, the angry badger treatment relies upon the proven therapeutic value of an agitated mammal from the species rodentia angrius. When placed directly upon an inflamed area, the snarling beast alleviates pain and suffering while sparing the victim the risk and embarrassment of more invasive procedures.

Possible Unapproved Procedure Modifications Reported: The reported modifications to the existing procedure center around the unapproved practice of "pre-salving" the badger before placement onto the inflamed area. With this method, an ointment or gel (or, in rare cases, a liniment) is spread over an already seething badger in an attempt to further enhance the healing properties of the beast. One Milwaukee case recently cited involved the application of a pre-salved badger (a 100 mg smear of Blue Star Ointment was used) in an effort to simultaneously combat the vapours and a mild case of tether. As expected, the results were less than desirable. The slickened rodent was incensed with rage before application could be achieved, and the patient, by then apprehensive about the outcome, found his vapours levels heightened by approximately .40 dcl/ats when tested on the standard Rubics system. In summary, the pre-salving procedure greatly diminished the pleasure normally associated with pre-treatment handling and post-operative recovery.

Recommendation: The proven procedures associated with the angry badger treatment should be followed. Pre-salving is not recommended under any circumstances. Modifications to the aforementioned procedure will continue to be reviewed on an as-needed basis following the established guidelines of JAMA and the GCMPC.