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See now
famous stars in the roles they tried to forget...
    
Air Force
None
Special
Agent Connor O'Connor (Harrison Ford) returns to the tranquil Pennsylvania
community of Bird in Hand with one goal: to reunite with his forbidden
love interest, Mary (Kelly Maginnis). But Agent O'Connor is unaware of
the maelstrom that awaits him. An issue pitting traditional values against
modern patriotism has spawned a generational conflict among the Amish:
should members of the Amish community be allowed to apply for Officers
Training in the United States Air Force?
O'Connor
senses the unrest the moment he steps from the carriage in the central-Pennsylvania
burrough. Then, he witnesses the unspeakable. At a church social, a young
chow-chow canner who dreams of becoming a fly boy is taunted by a community
elder: *If God had intended for thee to fly, Ezekial, He would have given
thee wings!* The incensed boy lashes out with the fury of a runaway horse
team: *And if God had intended for me to can chow-chow, he would have given
me hollow fingers capable of dispensing proportional amounts of corn, butter
beans, peas, and various spices to create the relish-like stew!* That night,
with the community still reeling from the outburst at the church social,
a band of renegade Amish punks nearly succeeds in equipping a slow moving
wagon with wings and a crude jet propulsion device. The fuse is lit; will
the tinder box explode?
Air
Force None chronicles the torrid romance of O'Connor and Mary, set against
a backdrop of endless town hall meetings and prayer sessions. Starring
Chris Farley as Nathaniel, Chris Rock as Thomas, Chris Burman as The Announcer,
and Kris Kristofferson as Colonel Christopher, USAF (ret.). Original musical
score by Kris Kross. 1997.
The Hunt
for Red October Beans
There's
a famine in Lancaster County. Every variety of October string bean has
been obliterated. Amish families everywhere are feeling the brunt of the
scarcity, but no one is feeling it more than Graham Weaver, patriarch of
the 13-member Weaver clan. With a wife and 11 children, Graham (C. Everett
Koop) needs at least 30 bushels of the now nonexistent legume to get the
family through the harsh winter months ahead. The Hunt for Red October
Beans chronicles Graham's search for the bean - a journey that takes him
through Lancaster County, past western Pennsylvania, and eventually to
the sin-filled streets of Boise, Idaho. Along the way, Graham learns a
lot more than just gardening tips. Starring Rebecca de Mornay as the whore,
Tom Cruise as Ezekiel Weaver, and introducing Billy Idol as Jacob. Color
117 min. 1989.
Rat Killin'
Weekend
Jonathan
Husker (C. Everett Koop) is a simple man living in not-so-simple times.
His sons, Matthew (Burt Reynolds) and Moses (Merle Haggard) are tired of
plowing and milking. They long for the fast-paced life they can see across
the mighty Susquehanna River in neighboring Harrisburg. Jonathan has done
an admirable job of keeping them down on the farm, but now a rat problem
threatens to change everything. And when a young female exterminator arrives,
things really start to get complicated. Eerie musical score by Boxcar Willie
helps set the tone in this high-stakes thriller. Jack Nicholson as the
city boy. Cameo appearance by Prince. Color 112 min. 1990.
Slow
Moving Vehicle from Hell
Inspired
by Steven King's The Car, director R. Waalkes paints the tranquil Amish
countryside red in this bloody, surreal look at what many consider to be
little more than an outdated mode of transportation. Slow Moving Vehicle
from Hell is the story of a demon-possessed wagon load of pumpkins that
terrorizes southern Lancaster County. But it's also a tender love story
of a young Amish lad and a special investigator on her first assignment
from Pittsburgh. Nominated for best screenplay. Color 98 min. 1989.
Disaster
in Lancaster: The September Mule Massacre
Those
zany Gremlins are back. And this time they've killed every mule in Lancaster
County. The long-awaited sequel to 1988's Christmas blockbuster. In this
installment, the curious fur-bearing creatures face their greatest challenge,
a makeshift army of local Amish. The trapping and eventual clubbing to
death of the Gremlins is sure to delight the hearts of youngsters everywhere.
Starring Venessa Redgrave as Mom, Dustin Hoffman as Billy, and Yassir Arafat
as Ringo's cousin. Color 144 min. 1989.
Teenage
Mutant Ninja Barn-Raisers
Your
favorite cartoon characters come to life in R. Waalke's adaptation of the
Alfred Hitchcock musical by the same name. Join Michelangelo, Raphael,
and Leonardo as they help a local farmer back to his feet after a terrifying
fire destroys most of his outbuildings and farming implements. Filmed in
surround sound. Narration by Burl Ives and Richard Petty. Color 112 min.
1990.
Contact
Jody
Foster stars as MaryRuth Weaver in this tense shocker that pits traditional
Christian values against modern commercial exploitation. MaryRuth, a defiant
Amish teenager with a $20-a-day butterfat habit, has lost a daily wear
contact lens in the hay barn. Her dirt-poor boyfriend, Ezekial (James Woods),
dutifully supports MaryRuth in her time of need. But time is running out
for the couple as Ezekial searches in all the wrong places. Meanwhile,
the laughter and high jinks of Amish farm life are threatened by the hidden
agenda of Dr. Charles Cosworth (Jim Scopelitis), the local ophthalmologist
Hell-bent on selling the Weaver family a replacement lens. Starring Jan-Michael
Vincent as Father, Benyamin Netanyahu as Benjamin, and introducing Richard
Trickle as Abe.
Men in
Brown
The
year is 2045. The place: the Pennsylvania Dutch community of Bird in Hand.
Here, a renegade extremist element known only as ASS (Amish for Systematic
Secession) threatens to topple the centuries-old Amish empire. ASS's evil
leader, Hezikiah (Steven Wright), vows to stop only after the last roadside
stand is plundered, the last barn burnt, and the last slow moving vehicle
overturned. Desolation rules until the ultra-secret Men in Brown decide
it's time to show some knee. Woody Harrelson stars as MiB special-agent-in-charge
Joe Ragan in this techno gonzo look at the Amish of the future. Featuring
Conan O'Brien as Isaiah, Jimmi Smits as the Commissioner, and in his triumphant
return to the big screen, Mr. T as Lieutenant Mulcahey. Original Motion
Picture soundtrack by Hanson.
   
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