This is the Deadly Mantis.

Feared by some, protected by many, we are hear to reveal new dangerous findings on this creature.

Thousands of people a year are rushed through VR-ERs by Dr. Crazy Pappy, M.D. and Nurse Boar, R.N. with infected Mantis Glands. Here Lisa "Mantis Queen" Merhi is saved by the dynamic duo. This mantis became extremely inflammed and almost burst while she was in Oklahoma during Chigger Fest '97.

Yes, Dr. Pappy is reading this X-ray upside down. It is just one of many self-taught techniques he uses to determine the correct treatment for each patient. He call for Nurse Boar, and yells

"BRING ON THE BADGER!"

THE GREAT DEBATE

An inflammed mantis gland can be cured or least drained by using the "Angry Badger Treatment." Dr. Merlin C.Pappy, M.D. invented this treatment while traveling with Carnies across the Dakotas in the late 80's. These Carnies were "dropping like flies" and the situation called for drastic measures. Just when all hope was lost, Nurse Boar walked into Dr. Pappy's bar/office. She appeared like a blurred vision to the Doctor (after a few "Yo! Yo! Yos!" and a bottle of rum, Dr. Pappy calls this a "gift from the Captain...") She was armed with a 10 pound cheesewheel and a badger, souviners from her trip to the Motherland. The World's Largest Man ate the cheesewheel, pissing the badger off. The Angry Badger tried to get the cheese back, lunging at his thoat. All the badger got was the infected mantis gland. Being a carnevour, the badger found this much more tasty than Wisonsin Cheddar. The Carnie was cured, the badger was happy and Dr. Pappy and Nurse Boar teamed up to be the greatest medical team in the history of the Western World. 126,184,923 people have recieved the treatment since that day. (Only 23 have survived, but hey, who's counting?)

Dateline July, 1997: A new doctor has arrived on the scene. Dr. L. Preston Conners, M.D. ("the L is for LOVE, Baby!") started his practice after being brainwashed in Oklahoma by a large corporation. Four Days in Chiggerville left Dr. Love with the insane idea that he can be whatever he dreams up.

* Dr. Pappy has been very specific in his rules for A.B.T.

* Dr. Love has revised the treatment for his own personal gain.

And thus the GREAT BADGER DEBATE OF '97 rages on. National Inquirier Psychics have predicted a "GREEN PLAGUE", one of the signs of the Appocolyse. Will the Doctors team forces to save the world from the Deadly Mantis? Tune in next time for the latest in this ongoing saga.

Same Badger Time, Same Badger Station!