Hair
& Fashion Report March 13, 2004 -- Spotted at the Mall this week:
- 18 Mullets
- 2 Rattails,
bringing this month's total to 4. I'm calling it now, they are coming
BACK!
- The
best one was long & flowing and dyed bright blue.
- 2
on children under 10. You know they have f-d up parents who made
them grow it.
- 4 Dreadlock
heads. I'm not talking about 'tasteful' dreads. I'm talking
- 2
white chicks
- 2
George Clinton Wanna-bes with pooca shells, strings and ribbons.
I think I saw birds living in the hair.
- One lady
in stirrup pants. Perfect fashion for the Mall Mull.
You
gotta love the mullet. Well, at least I do. SFLB (Short Front, Long Back),
Shlong (short and front) Sho-lo, Bi-Level, 7 (the shape of the number),
Achy-Breaky-Bad-Mistakey, Ape Drape, Business in Front Party in Back,
Camero Cut, Canadian Passport, Compromise Cut, El Camino (not a car, not
a truck), Hockey Hair, Kentucky Waterfall, Mudflap, Neckwarmer, Safety
Cut, Soccer Rocker, Tennessee Tophat, Yep-nope.
 And
then there is Joe Dirt. The Man. The Myth. The Mullet. Ok, I'll admit
the movie was pretty bad, but I loved the scene of him working as a Carnie,
his hair flapping in the wind of the Tilt-A-Whirl. It brought back fond
memories of the Maryland State Fair coming to my hometown. As Austin Powers
noted, "Carnies. Small hands. Smell like cabbage." This movie relates
well to my whole point of this section.
The
mullet is not a just a haircut. It's a lifestyle.
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