Naked Amish

Naked Amish was formed roughly 19 years ago in Lancaster County, PA. The band has 4 members-- Jeremiah "Jerry" Garcia, James "Jimmy" Buffett and Bartholemew "Barry" Manilow (a.k.a. "The Big Three") and Elvis A. Presley (the A. stands for "Amish", not Aaron as some have claimed-- but those are the same people who say he is dead.) The big 3 are all founding members, while the fourth is the "Menudo Member", being replaced at puberty like the Spanish Rock sensation.

The big 3 have all perused successful solo singing careers, and also godlike status to an underground group of insane Marylanders. This group claims each person is "in charge" of a specific vice. Jerry is the drug god; Jimmy, the drinking god; and Barry, the parking god. If you listen careful to passing traffic around midnight in Fells Point, one might hear carloads of people doing their ritual "BARRY BARRY BARRY, COME ON BARRY!!" chant in order to be rewarded with a poll position parking spot in front of the bar du jour.

The beginnings...

The young musicians were at great risk of being shunned by their community, so they were forced to practice in the back of a stolen Hawaiian UHaul trailer (point of interest, James Buffett decorated the trailer with large fish during a drunken binge involving too many margaritas and a can of spray paint . The CEO of UHaul loved it and started the tradition of celebrating the state of origin with a large tacky picture on the side of each truck. Look for them all on your next road trip!)

The Golden Years...

Naked Amish has been wildly popular in Germany, Peru and Afghanistan since the early 80's, although their success there has somewhat dwindled since the "Baywatch Invasion" of David Hasslehoff. Naked Amish has also has great success with several films dealing with the plight of the Quiet Quiltmakers. Their propelling soundtracks and staring roles in such films (*link to below) as "Rat Killing Weekend" and "Slow Moving Vehicle from Hell" has won critical praise and comparisons to another great crossover group, The Monkees. N.A. has launched the singing and acting careers of many a Hollywood star, although many refuse to acknowledge their simple roots. However, this being the OFFICIAL Naked Amish homepage, we have the proof and record of all original members. Finally those former members will realize ignoring their past is as futile as trying to outrun a buggy rolling downhill.

The New Album...

The band has just recently released their first album in the United States, "Dark Side of the Amish". Tune in to the Virtual Linda Show to see them perform the new songs! Critics praise their latest release as a "breathtaking, toe tappin' look at the other side of barn raising!"

"Dark Side of the Amish" available on 8track, LP, bootleg cassette and live on the/virtual/linda/show.

"We Don't Want No Combustion Engine"

"Workin at the Barn Raisin' Blues"

"Good (Amish) Girls Don't, But I Do"

"Don't Cross the Amish (If You Can't Whip the Horse)"

"Bad, Bad Ezekiel James"

"Stairway to Barn Raising"

"(Been Through the Barnyard with) An Amish with no Name"

"Burning Down the Barn"

"Churn, Churn, Churn"

"I Can't Stop Loving Ewe"

"Thou Art Nothing But a Hound Dog"

"Saturday Night's Alright for Bathing"

"Hunka Hunka Churnin' Love"

"Mennonite at the Oasis" (theme from The Hunt for Red October Beans)

"No Pork, No Pork (Start Spreadin' the Ewes...)"

"Mules Rush In" (theme from Disaster in Lancaster: The September Mule Massacre)